


Ledge of Love

by WritingToKeepMySanity



Category: Castle
Genre: Caskett, F/M, Kate Beckett - Freeform, Rick Castle - Freeform, This just kind of happened, but slightly fluffy, castle - Freeform, pinch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3184769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingToKeepMySanity/pseuds/WritingToKeepMySanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No safety nets, no more regrets,<br/>I don't need a parachute..."<br/>--Jon Huertas, "Ledge of Love"</p><p>***FORMERLY TITLED 'FALL TOGETHER'***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_He wants to say_ I love you

_but keeps it to_ Goodnight

_because love will mean some falling_

_and she's afraid of heights._

_\--r.i.d._

*~*~*~*~*

He wants to say it. Actually say it, at a time when she's not dying and he's not panicking. A time when her doctor-motorcycle-boyfriend isn't yelling at him and she's not lying in a hospital bed.

He wants to say it so she'll remember.

But as they sit on the park swings and she tells him about the wall around her heart, he knows he can't. The past four years of _will-they or won't-they_ have been pushing them to the edge, the one that screams _they will_ , but she's not ready for it. And though the words are there, right on the tip of his tongue, even after all she's put him through this past summer, he chooses to wait.

So he returns to default mode, to factory setting: coffee and heavy subtext.

He brings her coffee every morning, makes more when she's finished, hoping she understands that every cup, every accompanying smile and brush of fingers is him saying it again and again. Hopes she knows that coffee isn't just coffee and _always_ means so much more.

He has to stop himself from saying it after the explosion, when she runs into the bank, screaming his name. Has to hold his tongue when they're in another life-or-death situation with a tiger, covers it up with jokes of joining the circus and taking off her heels. Resorts to replacing Joe and Vera with them in his head, imagines a time when she might have loved him back. Keeps it to himself after every case, when he leaves her at the precinct, simply tells her goodnight instead.

He writes, Nikki and Rook still going strong.

Even after the bomb, realizing she'd lied, after he'd stalked off to lick his wounds and heal his ego with bimbos and gang detectives, he finds he still yearns to tell her. Doesn't give a damn about her wall anymore, just wants her to know how he feels, wants her to feel the same.

When he finally tells her again, it's angry and shouting and _no_ he's not going to cry here, not in front of her. He sees the wall crumbling, just a bit, sees her on the edge, and he dares to hope that maybe she's ready now.

But her eyes harden, she stays firmly in place, and tells him to get out.

The night she comes to his doorstep, soaking wet, saying she just wants him, and kisses him, _really_ kisses him, no guards to distract, no friends to save, he sees it. When she touches his mouth with light fingertips, he sees her again on the edge, but this time, she's ready. She's not afraid anymore.

So they fall together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm ready to jump in.  
> I'm ready to *jump* off of this ledge of love."

_"I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you”—The Chaos of Stars_

*~*~*~*~*

As her assaliant stalks away, believing his work is done, she thinks of falling, of the dizzying sensation of her stomach bottoming out, of the adrenaline rush.

She doesn't think she fell in love with him.

Falling requires loss of control, a dreaded fear, the sense of the unknown.

And she's always known. Always knew it was him. She just thought that solving her mother’s case would heal her, take down that wall so she could actually love again. It took her a while, too long when she admits it to herself, to realize that the wall came down long ago, without the aid of her mother’s murder, and everything to do with him.

And just as it took her shooting to spur him into confessing his love, it takes a life-or-death situation for her to realize what she’s actually known all along.

She chooses him.

As she's hanging off the roof by the tips of her fingers, she sees that this is exactly where solving her mother's murder has led her. Not to some brilliant realization, not a name, not justice for her and her father, not even crumbled remains of her damn wall. No. Trying to solve Johanna Beckett's murder led her straight to the edge of the roof, kicking to find purchase, the ground swirling beneath her.

And all she can think about is a name.

Just one name.

 _Castle_.

When one hand slips, and her left arm is nearly ripped out of its socket, she lets the world know.

She chose Castle.

It’s the wrong voice that answers, the wrong hand that grabs hers. The rest of the day is muted, the voices hitting her ears as though she were underwater, everyone moving in slow motion. Then Gates tells her she’s suspended, and it hits her loud and clear.

And she makes her choice again, placing her gun and badge on her Captain’s desk, telling her to keep them.

She wanders aimlessly, finding herself first at her mother’s grave, then at the swing set where she first told Castle about her wall. It’s storming now, a downpour that soaks her to the bone. She woke up this morning Detective Beckett, hell-bent on finding her mother’s murderer. And now, not even twelve hours later, she’s just Kate.

She chooses Castle.

Now it’s time for her to tell him.

_Beckett, what do you want?_

His face immediately closes off when he sees her on the other side of the door, and she says the first thing she can think of in a futile attempt to make this better.

_You._

And now he knows.

She didn’t think she had fallen in love with him, but when he pushes her back, slamming the front door shut, she feels that same dizzying sensation, the same kick of adrenaline, and she knows.

She fell.

She fell for him hard.

And, suddenly, the thought doesn’t seem so terrifying anymore.


End file.
